KITTEN COLLECTIBLES #11: The Botched Bond Girl

A Treasure Hunt by D.M. ANDERSON💀

In addition to watching and writing about films, I’m something of a memorabilia collector. Cursed with a teacher’s salary, I ain’t out there bidding on Dorothy’s ruby slippers or anything, but certainly enjoy haunting local shops for a variety of movie-related stuff. Or when feeling particularly bold, I’ll occasionally overpay for some retro relic on eBay. More often than not, I leave stores empty-handed. But every now and then, I’ll find a small treasure that doesn’t completely empty my wallet and give it a new home in the Dave Cave.

Movies and action figures go together like cops and donuts. While I collect action figures to a certain extent, I’m a little picky. I don’t bother with anything related to Marvel, Star Wars or Disney because that shit is everywhere. Visit damn near any store that sells vintage toys and you’ll see shelves and shelves of ‘em, most likely dumped off by guys once certain those things were a path to early retirement.

But I’ll certainly snap-up something related to movies I’m into, such as Alien, Jaws or other figures never intended to be actual toys. It’s especially fun to find one that isn’t from a sci-fi or horror film, mainly because I don’t see them that often. At a local place called Antique Alley, I recently found a 13” figure of Vincent Vega from Pulp Fiction that speaks dialogue from the movie. It even superficially resembles John Travolta.

Speaking of resemblance, Foxtrot Vintage, just down the street from my house, had a figure of Ursuala Andress’ character, Honey Ryder, from the first James Bond film, Dr. No., even though the thing in the box doesn’t remotely look like her.

Separated at birth?

In fact, her face reminded me more of Richard Chamberlain getting a colonoscopy than the bikini-clad Bond beauty. And with that Terminator of a body, Honey looks like she’s ready to kick 007’s ass. Hell, the Funko Pop of Honey Ryder looks more like Ursula than this one. The hilariously half-assed design made it well worth the eight bucks I paid. Even now, a few days later, looking at it makes me chuckle.

Sometimes I leave my figures in their original box, other times I take them out. It either depends on the condition of the box or if they’d simply look cooler if posed in my display case. I've decided to leave this one boxed because, without it, you’d probably be wondering where I found an action figure of a WWE wrestler in drag.