RAMPO NOIR: A Strange Anthology

RAMPO NOIR (Blu-ray)

2005 / 134 min

From Arrow Video

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

Edogawa Ranpo was an author apparently considered to be Japan’s answer to Edgar Allan Poe. I'm not familiar with any of his work and have no idea if Rampo Noir is an accurate representation of it, but as horror films go, this one is certainly “out there.” Though sometimes intriguingly (and grotesquely) bizarre, it’s just as often ponderous and pretentious.

Rampo Noir is an anthology film based on four of the author’s stories, each helmed by a different director. The only connecting thread is actor Tadanobu Asano, who appears in all of them. The first story is “Mars Canal,” which consists of a naked man beating a naked woman, then he stumbles to a remote pond and collapses. With no dialogue or sound effects - just an increasingly grating synth drone - good luck trying to decipher what the hell any of it is supposed to mean. Fortunately, this segment is less than 10 minutes long.

“Mirror Hell” is at least more comprehensible, telling the story of a dreamy-but-psychotic mirror maker who uses his craft to kill women that are attracted to him. Though it features one of Ranpo’s most popular recurring characters, private detective Kogoro Akechi (Asano), there’s more emphasis on the unhinged antagonist and his sadomasochistic proclivities. Additionally, the story is pretty poky and comes to an abrupt, unsatisfying conclusion.

The new Captain Underpants.

If you can imagine Johnny Got His Gun being directed by David Cronenberg, you’ll have good idea of what to expect with “Caterpillar,” about a helpless, monstrously disfigured ex-soldier who’s subjected to physical, psychological and sexual abuse by his wife. Attempts at elevated, artistic horror are often offset by overall cruelty and nastiness, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t weirdly interesting.

The final story, “Crawling Bugs,” is arguably the most twisted, but also more disjointed and meandering than the others. The basic story centers on a loony, germophobic limo driver’s obsession with a popular stage actress. Creative, colorful production design enhances an overall surrealistic tone and the main character’s descent into madness. There are also surprising moments of black humor, including a final scene that will either illicit gasps or giggles. 

Like most anthology films, Rampo Noir has issues with consistency and all four stories are longer than they need to be, leaving one with the impression that these directors would have been better off focusing more on pure horror and leaving artier aspirations at the door. Half the time we’re morbidly fascinated, other half we’re certain we can grab a snack from the kitchen without bothering to hit the pause button.

EXTRA KIBBLES

NOTE: Free Kittens Movie Guide was provided with a promo disc for review purposes. Physical supplemental material included with the final product (booklets, artwork, inserts, etc) were not available for review.

CROSS THE LENS - This is a 75-minute making-of documentary, shot during the film’s production. I actually enjoyed it more than the movie itself.

INTERVIEWS - Individual interviews with director Suguru Yakeuchi, director Hisayasu Sato, director Atsushi Kaneko, cinematography advisor Masso Nakabori, cinematographer Akiko Ashizawa, actress Yumi Yoshiyuki.

AUDIO COMMENTARY - by Jasper Sharp and Alexander Zahlten.

STAGE GREETING - Cast & directors Q&A footage at Rampo Noir’s Japanese premiere.

IMAGE GALLERIES

KITTEN KRUSTIES: The Worst Stuff We Reviewed in 2024

While we enjoyed reviewing another big batch of Blu-Rays, DVDs and movies in 2024, they haven’t all been picks of the litter. Time to take a look back at the worst of them. Our list consists strictly of titles which were sent to us for review purposes.

BLEH...THE WORST: As much as we love movies, there are times when reviewing them feels like an actual job. The following titles deserve to be buried in the litter box:

10) AQUAMAN AND THE LOST KINGDOM (Warner Bros) - Even more so than the first film, the overall aesthetic reeks of artifice. Rarely does it feel like the performers are ever interacting with their environment. It’s emblematic of many recent superhero movies…watchable without ever being engaging, with no attempts to bring anything new to an increasingly rote formula.

9) LISA FRANKENSTEIN (Universal) - Lisa Frankenstein is slickly directed, looks great and features good performances. But while there’s plenty of comic horror potential in the basic concept, the film squanders it with shallow characters, heavy-handed satire and a misguided idea of black comedy.

8) IMAGINARY (Lionsgate) - For a horror movie called Imaginary, there ain’t much horror or imagination. Virtually all of the backstory and missing pieces to the narrative are provided through lengthy verbal exposition. And could we please finally dispense with the snotty-emo-teen trope?

7) BLUE DESERT (Indiepix) - There’s no climax, no discernible resolution and absolutely no clarity. Watching Blue Desert is like going on a date with someone who’s drop-dead gorgeous, but might be the dullest person you ever met.

6) BLOOD AND LACE (Shoreline) - Though pretty violent for a PG-rated film, thrillseekers unfazed by the narrative’s nastier aspects would still probably find Blood and Lace a chore to sit through. Even by hagsploitation’s lowly standards, this is cheap, dull and poorly assembled. It's sort of sad to think this was the only work Gloria Grahame could get at the time. 

5) POLAR RESCUE (Well Go USA) - Donnie Yen’s performance is excellent, deftly conveying the frustration, determination and desperation any parent would feel in this situation…all without delivering a single body blow or roundhouse kick. Unfortunately, Polar Rescue repeatedly sabotages his efforts with obnoxious characters and stupid plot turns, resulting in a movie that isn’t worthy of Yen’s dedication.

4) KINJITE: FORBIDDEN SUBJECTS (MGM) - It was sad to witness Charles Bronson’s descent into exploitative mediocrity during the 80s, repeatedly putting his career in the hands of a director (J. Lee Thompson) who stopped giving a damn years earlier. But even by their tempered standards, Kinjite is a bottom dweller. The sleazy approach to its subject matter and repellent attitude toward the Japanese overshadows everything.

3) REAGAN (Lionsgate) - A love letter to the 40th president and those who continue to deify him, the movie is a pandering pile of propaganda and gushing adulation. At no point is Reagan insightful or emotionally engaging. It’s just an interminable checklist of events with a ton of preachy, long-winded exposition..

2) CATNADO (Wild Eye) - We knew going-in that Catnado would be cheap, but Jesus Christ, no movie should have the viewer suspecting more effort was put into selling it than actually making it. But the biggest sin? There are hardly any actual cats in the movie, and since there are plenty of funnier videos on YouTube featuring real ones, why waste your time?

1) COCAINE WEREWOLF (Cleopatra) - Cheap and stupid doesn’t begin to describe this one. The whole thing is strictly amateur night...boring, scare-free, devoid of laughs (intentional ones, anyway) and featuring a creature about as convincing as the monster masks at Spirit Halloween. 

DISHONORABLE MENTION: The Crow (2024) (Lionsgate), Red Line 7000 (Arrow), A Creature was Stirring (Well Go USA), Stigmata (Capelight), The Watchers (Warner Bros), Cursed in Baja (Anchor Bay), Killers (Synapse Films), Death Count (Gravitas Ventures); Director Spotlight: Sydney Pollack (Mill Creek Entertainment).

Be sure to check out THE BEST STUFF WE REVIEWED IN 2024.

Revisiting THE SEARCHERS in 4K

THE SEARCHERS (4K UHD)

1956 / 118 min

From Warner Archive Collection

Available at www.MovieZyng.com

Review by Mr. Paws😺

After 15 years of resurrecting classics (and cult classics) on DVD and Blu-ray, Warner Archive has finally jumped on the 4K Ultra HD bandwagon. It seems fitting that the label kicks things off with something iconic. And westerns don’t get much more iconic than 1956’s The Searchers.

Before going any further, I should probably qualify my review by confessing I’ve never been a massive John Wayne fan. He starred in some great films, to be sure, but they weren’t necessarily great because of him. Wayne’s career was similar to Ozzy Osbourne’s…perfunctory talent, but surround yourself with the right people and you become a legend. He’s sure as hell surrounded by the right people in this one.

But in revisiting The Searchers for the first time in years, I gotta admit Wayne is pretty damn impressive here. It’s probably the closest he ever came to actually disappearing into a character, playing an enigmatic and cynical ex-soldier. Ethan Edwards’ years-long quest to rescue his niece and kill the Comanche who kidnapped her (after slaughtering the rest of her family) reveals a dark complexity that’s absent from most of Wayne’s other characters. 

Duke's picnic shirt.

Sure, director John Ford and screenwriter Frank S. Nugent had a hand in it, and I still suspect Ethan might’ve been more compelling if played by, say, Glenn Ford. But if John Wayne was gonna win an Oscar, it should have been for this one (certainly not True Grit). It’s arguably his best role, though I personally don’t think it’s his best film (Rio Bravo gets my vote for that one). 

But if not his best, The Searchers remains an easy film to appreciate. Historically speaking, you’d be hard pressed to name another western as influential as this one. Watching with hindsight, you can spot aesthetic and narrative elements of The Searchers in countless other films by notable directors (and not just westerns). And speaking of aesthetics, the simple artistry of that immersive opening shot immediately establishes The Searchers as, not simply a western, but an epic western. Conversely, later scenes obviously done on a soundstage tend to break the spell, however briefly.

But hey, what the hell do I know? The Searchers is widely considered one of the greatest westerns of all time and is certainly treated as such with this outstanding 4K restoration. The movie looks tremendous, revealing a lot of texture and color accuracy in the various settings (and probably why certain scenes look so “stagy”). There’s also an additional Blu-ray with the feature film - which also looks pretty good - and a solid selection of vintage bonus features…as well as a couple of brand new ones.

EXTRA KIBBLES

4K & BLU-RAY COPIES

FEATURETTES - The Searchers: An Appreciation and A Turning of the Earth: John Ford, John Wayne and The Searchers are a couple of 30 minute retrospectives.

AUDIO COMMENTARY - By filmmaker Peter Bogdanovich.

INTRODUCTION BY PATRICK WAYNE - John’s son.

OUTTAKES - Raw footage from the film, appearing for the first time here.

THE SEARCHERS WORLD PREMIERE IN CHICAGO - This is newly unearthed, too (though it’s less than a minute long).

BEHIND THE CAMERAS - This is a series of short promotional featurettes made during the film’s production.

TRAILER

KITTEN KATNIP: The Best Stuff We Reviewed in 2024

We reviewed a slew of Blu-rays, DVDs and movies in 2024. Time to take a look back at the best of them. While we have seen more movies than the Surgeon General recommends, our list consists strictly of titles which were sent to us for review purposes.

PURR-R-R...THE BEST: We reviewed some good stuff this year, but the following titles were better than taunting a mouse to death:

10) CUCKOO (Decal Releasing) - Cuckoo is a crazy film, and the less you know going in, the more fun you’re likely to have. It benefits from writer-director Tilman Singer’s creepy stylistic touches and disorienting sequences of hallucinatory psychological horror. He never spoonfeeds the audience, instead inviting us to come along for the ride, even if we’re never sure of the destination.

9) DUNE: PART TWO (Warner Bros) - While their overall visual and sonic grandeur is certainly diminished at home, watching Parts One & Two back-to-back on the sofa becomes immersive in a different way. It's a sprawling, complex story that may not always display a lot of heart, but is consistently engaging enough to justify two films and an epic overall length.

8) A QUIET PLACE: DAY ONE (Paramount) - Though presented on a grander scale than the first two films, A Quiet Place: Part One is ultimately a personal journey, the smaller moments nicely contrasting all the monster mayhem. Exciting, intense and often touching, it’s more that just another cash-grabbing prequel.

7) THE CHILDE (Well Go USA) - The film is mostly an extended pursuit filled with car chases, guns and bloody, close-quarters fighting, but also has an intriguing plot with plenty of surprises and a tone similar to a Tarantino film. Another winner by director Park Hoon-jung, The Childe wins no awards for plausibility, but it’s the best action movie of 2023.

6) DRIVING MADELEINE (Cohen Media Group) - Driving Madeleine takes the viewer on an entertaining - often revealing - personal journey of two wonderfully realized characters. With a perceptive screenplay, fluid direction by Christian Carion and affecting performances (including Alice Isaaz as young Madeleine), this is an emotional ride worth taking.

5) ACT OF VIOLENCE (Warner Archive) - Running a lean 82 minutes, the film hits the ground running and doesn't slow down, seldom straying from the dark tone established in the very first scene. Featuring tight direction by Fred Zinnemann and aided to a great degree by Robert Surtees’ moody cinematography, Act of Violence is an underseen film noir gem.

4) INTERSTELLAR and PULP FICTION Anniversary Editions (Paramount) - In this writer’s opinion, Interstellar is one of the best films of the 21st Century and among the greatest sci-fi films ever made. For those who feel the same way, the 10th Anniversary Limited Edition is a perfect souvenir. The 30th Anniversary Limited Edition of Pulp Fiction is a wonderfully packaged boxed set intended for those who love everything about the Tarantino classic. A great souvenir commemorating one of modern cinema’s best, most influential films.

3) NORTH BY NORTHWEST 4K (Warner Bros) - This undisputable classic remains as suspenseful, intriguing and funny as it was 65 years ago. On 4K, it has never looked better, and in addition to a big batch of vintage bonus features, a couple of new ones are included. North by Northwest is Alfred Hitchcock’s greatest overall film and remains essential viewing for anyone claiming to be a cinephile.

2) CHINATOWN 4K and ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST 4K (Paramount) - The Paramount Presents series has been getting better and better lately, especially their 4K releases. Chinatown includes new bonus features along with a substantial list of supplemental material carried over from previous Blu-ray/DVD editions. But the cherry-on-top is the Blu-ray debut of The Two Jakes, the belated and maligned sequel. Once Upon a Time in the West is another long-overdue 4K release and a decent upgrade from previous editions. It includes substantial bonus features, a new audio commentary and a brief appreciation by critic Leonard Maltin

1) ALL THE HAUNTS BE OURS, VOLUME II (Severin Films) - Like Volume One, All the Haunts Be Ours Volume Two isn’t for everyone, but for folk horror lovers who've always defined the genre by the likes of The Wicker Man and Midsommar, it's a treasure trove of obscurities. In terms of quantity, comprehensiveness and presentation, this is the best boxed set of the year.

HONORABLE MENTION: They Drive by Night (Warner Archive), The Mexico Trilogy (Arrow), Strange Darling (Decal), Paramount Scares Volume 2 4K (Paramount), Cruel Jaws - The Novelization (Encyclopacalypse), The Lady from Shanghai 4K (Sony), Monkey Man 4K (Universal), American Fiction (Warner Bros), The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (Lionsgate), The First Omen (20th Century Studios), Cemetery Man 4K (Severin), The Beekeeper (Warner Bros), Fear is the Key (Arrow); The Searchers 4K (Warner Archive).

Be sure to check out THE WORST STUFF WE REVIEWED IN 2024.