THE CROW and the Long Wait

THE CROW (Blu-ray)

2024 / 110 min

FROM LIONSGATE

Review by Stinky the Destroyer😾

I never felt 1994’s The Crow was such a sacred cow that a remake was out of the question. While certainly stylish and benefiting from Brandon Lee’s charismatic portrayal of the title character, it was a lot of fun, but nothing particularly inventive. At the risk of raising hackles among its fans, I believe the tragic circumstances surrounding its production are a major reason the film still resonates emotionally…even 30 years later. 

If nothing else, this new adaptation deserves at-least an attaboy for trying to do something besides remaking the exact same movie (though the basic plot is similar). Additionally, The Crow (2024) boasts one hell of an action scene, where Eric Draven (Bill Skarsgard) storms into an opera house with a sword and systematically slaughters a slew of tuxedoed henchmen like an undead John Wick. Lengthy, skillfully choreographed and creatively gory, it’s the best sequence in the entire film. 

Eric prepares for a job interview.

Unfortunately, we gotta wait a long time to get there. Until then, The Crow is kinda drab and depressing, to say nothing of long-winded. The story is essentially the same, with Draven returning from the dead to avenge his and girlfriend Shelley’s (FKA Twigs) murder. However, the narrative tosses in too many superfluous detours, such as a crime boss who’s made a pact with the Devil in exchange for immortality, the search for evidence on a cell phone and a spirit that mostly exists just to offer exposition. 

Not only that, most of the first act focuses on Eric and Shelley’s relationship. The actors try their best, but neither character is particularly interesting, despite spewing plenty of dialogue that’s supposed to establish them as soulmates. It’s almost a relief when they’re finally murdered so we can get to the revenge, but even then, it seems like forever before Eric actually transforms into the title character (the aforementioned opera house sequence)

While not necessarily a “bad” movie, The Crow is simply uninvolving. Despite efforts to make everything - especially Eric Draven - look and sound hip for modern young audiences, the film is technically proficient but ultimately unremarkable, only coming to life when things get bloody. 

EXTRA KIBBLES 

TRUE LOVE NEVER DIES - This is an hour-long, multi-chapter making-of documentary featuring a lot of the cast & crew. Overall, it’s more interesting than the movie itself, partially because of the journey to the big screen was a fairly long one.

FEATURETTES - Dark Romance focuses on the film’s score and composer; Reborn Through Revenge covers the opening credits sequences.

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TRAILER

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