CATNADO: More Actual CATS Would've Been Nice

CATNADO (DVD)

2022 / 87 min

FROM WILD EYE RELEASING

Review by Bonnie, the Barometer😾

Given the premise, we here at Free Kittens Movie Guide were really rooting for Catnado to be good. 

Okay…maybe ‘good’ is not right the word. No movie blatantly drawing inspiration from Sharknado was ever going to be good. But considering our ongoing infatuation with felines & films - to say nothing of felines in films - fun was a reasonable expectation.

But there’s only one fun aspect of Catnado, and that’s the wonderful DVD cover art. If it was a poster, we’d definitely throw that shit up on the Catcave wall. And like most other B-movies with crazy titles and crazier promotional artwork, there’s absolutely nothing in Catnado as awesome as that cover…

…not that we had any illusions. We knew going-in that Catnado would be cheap, but Jesus Christ, no movie should have the viewer suspecting more effort was put into selling it than actually making it. 

This cat has a word with his agent.

Sort of an anthology film, this is the work of nine directors, each tasked with creating a story centered around, as the title says, a tornado raining killer cats. Yet at no point does Catnado even rise to so-bad-it’s-good territory. Shot on video, it’s amateur night on every level...the performances, the dialogue, the production values and the eye-rolling attempts at humor. Deadly dull right from the get-go, the movie doesn’t even have the courtesy of being self-aware.

But the biggest sin? There are hardly any actual cats in the movie. Granted, they generally aren't the most cooperative actors on Earth, but aside from inserted shots of felines that are obviously not even at the same location, the animal action is all done with stuffed animals, puppets and shitty CGI (you could probably create more convincing effects with your I-Phone). And since there are plenty of funnier videos on YouTube featuring real cats, why waste your time?

Too bad…we really wanted to like this one.