Starring
Robert Horton, Luciana Paluzzi, Richard Jaeckel, Bud Widom, Ted
Gunther, Robert Dunham. Directed Kinji Fukasaku. (1968, 90 min).
The
Green Slime is finally on Blu-Ray! YAY!
Okay,
so it ain't exactly 2001: A Space Odyssey (though it was
released the same year), but its daffy charms remain irresistible
after all these years. Maybe even more so for those who
experienced it as kids. As for me, I first caught it at an old
second-run theater within biking distance of my house, which showed
kid-friendly matinées on summer afternoons. Even then, the special
effects, title creatures and far-out theme song were
supremely chuckle-worthy.
Today,
only a hard-nosed cynic could view this film without a big, dumb grin
on their face. What's ultimately the most fun about The Green
Slime is that it isn't a "bad" movie in the traditional
sense. Unlike microbudget monster movies like, say, Attack of the
Giant Leeches, this is a film that's just bursting with
confidence in its wacky story, colorful production design and silly
visual effects. The latter is done almost entirely in-camera, from
the sky-blue outer space background to the clearly miniature
depiction of Gamma 3, the space station where the story takes place
(hanging from wires, of course). Yet it's also easy to appreciate the
obvious amount of care that went into creating these effects, which are as fun to look at as a lovingly-assembled dollhouse.
 |
| "Here's to swimmin' with bow-legged women." |
As
for the multi-tentacled monsters that grow from meteor slime and run
rampant through the station...just...wow. Their appearance, movement
and voices are almost adorable. Watching these critters shuffling
along en masse, tentacles waving about and mewling like kittens as
they chase the terrified cast throughout the station, is a real hoot.
 |
| "Hey! We're over here!" |
The
cast, to their credit, plays it totally straight, which had to be a
difficult task. Robert Horton plays our stoic, granite-faced hero
with as much sincerity as Charlton Heston (with less discernible
talent, of course). Thunderball Bond girl Luciana Paluzzi provides eye candy as
the station's resident doctor (professionally garbed in form-fitting
bodysuits and mini-skirts). But Richard Jaeckel steals the
show as the head-strong commander who mostly exists to be repeatedly proven
wrong by Horton. Jaeckel always had a knack for playing
uptight, humorless dorks, and this might be his ultimate performance
in that capacity.
But
even though we laugh, it's more out of affection than contempt. While
endearingly phony in nearly every aspect, The Green Slime
isn't ineptly made. Everyone from the director down to the costume designers and model
makers have obviously given their all to the production. You gotta respect that. Besides, the movie's a lot of fast-paced fun that only
a cranky curmudgeon wouldn't get a kick out of.
On a related note, wouldn't The Green Slime and The Angry Red Planet
make an awesome double feature on a stay-at-home Saturday?
EXTRA
KIBBLES
Trailer
KITTY CONSENSUS:
PURR-R-R...LIKE A GOOD SCRATCH BEHIND THE EARS
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