Starring
KJ Apa, Britt Robertson, Juliet Rylance, Luke Kirby, Dennis Quaid,
Peggy Lipton, voice of Josh Gad. Directed by Lasse Hallstrom. (2017,
100 min).
A
Dog's Purpose? Isn't that an oxymoron? Anyone of reasonable
intelligence can attest that dogs serve no actual purpose.
But even though I've never been much of a science fiction fan, I'm an open
minded enough to accept a dog as a protagonist.
 | |
| GUEST REVIEWER: STINKY |
I'll
say this much: A Dog's Purpose starts off great, when a puppy
gets snatched-up by dogcatchers, hauled to the pound and gets what's
coming to him. Serves him right for having the audacity to be a dog.
Even though one of the people I allow to share my sofa looked
surprised and saddened, I briefly thought this was the greatest film
of all time. Phenomenally short, maybe, but a rich viewing
experience. Purring contently, I prepared to jump off the sofa to go
partake in a few hours of much needed grooming. No need to sit
through the end credits; I didn't care who played this stupid dog.
But
the end credits didn't come. The movie wasn't over after all, and
what could have been the greatest cinematic achievement of all time
took a major turn for the worse. This dead dog comes back as another
dog, still looking for his purpose, which he stupidly thinks is spending his life as
some dumb kid's loyal companion. Really?
As
a feline film critic, I'm willing to suspend disbelief for the sake
of a story, so long as it doesn't insult my intelligence. But, come
on, everyone knows only cats have nine lives; dogs are too inherently
dumb to deserve more than one. For example, this pooch, named Bailey,
runs into a burning house to rescue his boy. How stupid does an
animal have to be to selflessly come to his master's aid when it's
far safer to simply take off and find a new one? This idiotic
animal even sticks around after the boy's dad becomes an abusive
drunk.
On the plus side, Bailey dies, too, though I don't believe for
a second the entire family would gather around to comfort him, then
mourn his passing. These are the same people who unceremoniously
buried their dead cat in the backyard without shedding a single tear,
just so Bailey could dig her back up and bring her into the house for
a cheap laugh. Ha-ha...very funny.
I
shot a glance to my own person. He actually looked sad Bailey
died. Geez, did he cry when the shark in Jaws exploded, too?
While we're on the subject, why is it that when a dog dies in a
movie, it's tragic, but when a cat does, it's exposition? Meh!
 |
| Cujo II |
Anyway,
this dog comes back again...and again...and again, still looking for
his stupid purpose, always dying before he finds it. Talk about
persistence. Judging from my person's face, these moments are
supposed to be bittersweet, but for me, this was like watching Jason
Voorhees repeatedly coming back in those Friday the 13th
movies. I won't spoil the ending for you, but let's just say it's
more far-fetched than Independence Day and as depressing as
the climax of Seven. My person, however, actually had a smile
on his face. Sick bastard.
Still,
I concede I'm likely not the primary audience for a movie like this. As hard
as it is to fathom, there's apparently lot of dumb people who
actually love dogs. For them, A Dog's Purpose is
probably a charming, sweet film, made more so by narration from some guy
named Josh Gad, who voices Bailey's thoughts (though everyone knows
if a dog could think in human language, the only word they'd be
capable of is "duh"). As for you normal
folks reading this, you're better off dusting off your old copy of
Harry & Tonto.
*The views and opinions expressed by Stinky in this review do not necessarily reflect those of her owner. She's always been a grumpy little hairball who purred when Old Yeller died. While A Dog's Purpose is a bit too cloying for some tastes, dog lovers should enjoy it.
EXTRA
KIBBLES
FEATURETTES:
"Lights,
Camera, Woof" - A making of featurette, narrated from one of the
dogs' perspective;
"A
Writer's Purpose" - Interview with the novel's author, W. Bruce
Cameron.
DELETED
SCENES & OUTTAKES
DVD
& DIGITAL COPIES
KITTY CONSENSUS:
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