Movie
posters are a dying art. Today, most are little more than quickly
slapped-together Photoshopped montages. But back in the days before
the internet, posters really had to sell movies, which meant
hiring artists and photographers with enough creativity to (sometimes
deviously) get butts planted in theater seats. In the tradition of
P.T. Barnum, sometimes the best posters were used to entice
moviegoers into seeing the worst movies...
SQUIRM
Despite
a few admittedly nasty moments, this 1976 schlocker is cheaply made
tripe which earned a bit of belated attention on Mystery Science
Theater 3000. The poster, however, is a horrific masterpiece that
almost resembles a death metal album cover.
JADE
Jade
was a Basic Instinct wannabe, written by the same guy, Joe
Eszterhas, and directed by William Friedkin. Touted as an erotic
thriller, it's certainly explicit, but while this poster does its job
of promising a grand ol' dirty time, it's also the sexiest thing the
film has to offer.
METEOR
A
70's disaster film poster in the classic tradition...head shots of
the all-star cast, epic hand-painted artwork and a tagline that sums
up the entire movie in 17 words. The movie itself unbelievably cheap looking
considering its rather large budget, which helped bankrupt American-International
Pictures. Still, it beats watching Armageddon.
DREAMCATCHER
“Evil
slips through” indeed. Any movie that includes “Shit Weasels”
as a major plot device guarantees some unintentional laughter.
Seriously, Morgan Freeman's overgrown eyebrows (in serious need of
weed whacking) are the scariest things in the whole picture. The
poster, though, its beautifully ominous.
INDIANA
JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM
We
may be in the extreme minority, but while most point their fingers at
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crustal Skull as being
the worst in the franchise, Temple of Doom is truly the bottom
feeder of the bunch. Stupid dialogue, brazenly obnoxious co-stars and
surprisingly lazy direction by Steven Spielberg made this an
endurance test, and the only film in the franchise that hasn't aged
well. Love that painting, though.
- GREAT POSTERS FOR BAD MOVIES
- More GREAT POSTERS FOR BAD MOVIES
- GREAT POSTERS FOR BAD MOVIES (Part 3)
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