THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 (2007)
The Hills Have Eyes was a surprisingly
solid remake (both critically and financially) of Wes Craven's
original classic. So it was no surprise a sequel followed soon after,
preceded by this beautifully disturbing teaser poster, which ended up
being banned by the MPAA. It was modified to depict feet protruding
from the sack (instead of a clawing hand), which was somehow deemed
acceptable. Go figure. At any rate, this brief bit of controversy is
the only memorable aspect of this dull retread.
THE CARS THAT EAT PEOPLE (1974)
The original Australian film,
The Cars That Ate Paris, was retitled by its American distributor to
push it as a horror film (which it really isn't). Too bad, because
who wouldn't want to see cars literally devour a bunch of poor bastards on the
highway as depicted in the poster? Unfortunately, it's about the
folks of a small town who earn a living by causing car accidents and
salvaging the wreckage. The film itself is mostly remembered today as
director Peter Weir's first feature.
DEATHSPORT (1978)
Look at that buff dude on that badass
bike, sword raised high as he roars defiantly down the highway! Guess
what...there's nothing remotely like him or that bike anywhere in this Roger
Corman-produced, no-budget 'sequel' to Death Race 2000. But unlike
that cult classic, all the laughs here are completely unintentional.
DEEP BLUE SEA (1999)
While few would ever defend Deep Blue
Sea as a good movie with a straight face, most would
agree it's a hell of a lot of goofy, ridiculous fun, especially
Samuel L. Jackson's semi-classic death scene. This promotional poster
had it all...great tagline, super-hot Saffron Burrows and a shark's
maw big enough to swallow a Volkswagen.
FRIDAY THE 13TH (1980)
This film has its admirers, many who
might have an overly-nostalgic attachment to it. That still doesn't make Friday the 13th any good, and even director Sean
S. Cunningham admitted he was just trying to capitalize on the
success of Halloween, having the chutzpah to place ads in Variety magazine before he had anything but a title. Aside from its creative kills
(courtesy of Tom Savini), the film is poorly acted, badly written and
clumsily directed. Still it was perfectly marketed, and this
beautiful poster is a true work of art.
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