Blu-Ray Review: THE THING WITH TWO HEADS

Starring Ray Milland, 'Rosey' Grier, Don Marshall, Roger Perry, Chelsea Brown. Directed by Lee Frost. (1972, 90 min).
Olive Films

The Thing with Two Heads makes you appreciate the important public service Mystery Science Theater 3000 provided when it was still around, allowing us to bask in the sheer awfulness of various cinema suppositories without coming up with our own clever commentary. MST3K never riffed on this one, but they probably would have gotten around to it eventually.

The film stars Ray Milland as Maxwell Kirshner, a hateful, openly racist surgeon suffering from "terminal chest cancer" who comes up with the brilliant idea to sew his head onto another body so his genius doesn't die. Ironically, the only subject available is a black death row inmate named Jack (Rosey Grier). Unintentional hilarity ensues as Jack (now a two-headed abomination) escapes with the hope of, not only getting Kirshner off his shoulder (wouldn't it have been great if his name was Chip?), but clearing himself of the murder he was convicted of.

Ray Milland objects to being the creme filling.

Of all the goofy scenes, the best one involves a motocross race where, upon seeing this rampaging monstrosity, competitors are literally leaping off their cycles in terror as Jack/Max grabs a bike and races along with them while the cops give chase. In terms of audience participation, this is pure gold. That's just one example...The Thing with Two Heads has all the prerequisites for MST3K fodder...a dumbass premise, TV movie production values, ludicrous special effects (the bouncing fake head attached to Grier's shoulder), a hilariously out-of-place jazz music score and supreme overacting (Milland, no stranger to low-budget schlock, is totally over-the-top here).

But you probably shouldn't watch it alone. Much of the fun of trash like this involves getting together with like-minded friends and trying to one-up each other with your comments. Shot-gunning several beers in advance will help. Once you and your cronies are good and lit-up, the possibilities are endless. Have fun.

EXTRAS: None

KITTY CONSENSUS:

PURR...LARGELY DEPENDING ON THE COMPANY YOU KEEP.

(and how intoxicated all of you are)