Like
the all of us, movies age, some better than others. Changes in
hairstyles, clothing, culture, technology and special effects are
just a few things which render beloved films products of their
time. It's unavoidable. Sure, the special effects in War of the
Worlds are archaic, Blazing Saddles is more shocking
today because of its liberal use of the n-word (uttered exclusively
by white folks), Warren Beatty's 70's hair is hilarious and the Judgment Day of Terminator 2 has come and gone without my
toaster trying to kill me.
But
this list isn't about those movies.
Sometimes,
as the old saying goes, shit happens. Unexpected
things no one could have seen coming can forever-change the
way we look at certain movies in an instant (sometimes with a single mugshot, as you'll see).
For example...
DODGEBALL
Lance Armstrong plays himself in an amusing cameo
towards the end of the movie. His story was once one of the most inspirational in all of sports...a guy who overcame testicular
cancer to win a slew of Tour de France titles. Playing-up what we all
thought we knew of him, his appearance in Dodgeball provided one of the biggest
laughs in the movie. Since then, it's been revealed Armstrong doped his way to all those victories (while simultaneously belittling those who
questioned his athletic integrity). He's since been stripped of all
his titles and is now a douchebag poster boy.
RAISE THE TITANIC
Clive Cussler's novel was
originally published in 1976, and the subsequent film was released in
1980. Both speculated the possibility of the famous ship being
salvaged by lifting it from the ocean floor intact. It was assumed at
the time Titanic was still in one piece, proven wrong in 1985 when a
deep-sea expedition discovered the ship had actually broken in half while going down. Revised accounts of the sinking have also rendered A
Night to Remember and
Titanic
(1953) unexpectedly dated as well.
KING KONG (1976)
The classic original story got
a 70's style upgrade in this ambitious (and idiotic) remake. Instead
of journeying to Skull Island to shoot a movie, our heroes are
looking for precious oil (a sign of the times back then). However, the biggest change is during
the climax, when Kong decides to climb the recently-constructed World
Trade Center rather than the rickety old Empire State Building.
Eventually, the Twin Towers became the most iconic image of the New
York skyline. After they fell down on 9/11, it became difficult to
see any previously-made film featuring a shot of the Towers without
feeling momentarily sad. Most such scenes were simply used to quickly
establish New York as the setting (i.e. Men
in Black, The Usual Suspects,
Deep Impact,
half of Woody
Allen's entire
filmography). But in this version of King
Kong, the World
Trade Center is
crucial to the plot.
The
Twin Towers were also prominently featured (to a lesser extent) in
Escape from New York,
in which Manhattan Island has become a maximum security prison. While
the ruins of New York may have been depicted as an urban hellhole in
1997 (they year the film takes place), at least the towers were still
standing.
DEMOLITION MAN
This
1993 film features Sylvester Stallone as John Spartan, a
wrongfully-convicted cop sentenced to be cryogenically frozen for his
crimes. He's thawed-out in 2032 when the police of San Angeles have
no idea how to contain another escaped criminal, Simon Phoenix, a
sociopath Spartan was trying to capture back in the 90s. Late in
the movie, Phoenix has taken control of the cryo-prison and is
releasing various murderers, rapists and psychos to help him take
over. He sees that Jeffrey Dahmer is one of the frozen inmates and
spouts, “I love that guy!” At the time of this film's release,
Dahmer was a household name as a recently-captured serial killer who
had a penchant for raping, murdering and eating his male
victims. He's name-dropped in Demolition
Man for a cheap laugh,
but only a year later, Dahmer was killed in prison by another inmate,
obviously making it impossible for him to be revived in 2032.
FANTASIA
Aside
from Deems Taylor's
cornball narration, the only thing which truly dates this classic
animated film is the “Rite of Spring” segment, which chronicles
the evolution of life all the way through the extinction of the
dinosaurs. At the time (1940), there were various theories of how
dinosaurs became extinct. Fantasia
depicts their demise as something which happened slowly, through
drought and starvation. Since then, the commonly-accepted theory is the
dinosaurs were wiped out by a sudden cataclysmic event, like a comet
or asteroid.
Helen Mirren...hot in ANY century. |
2010
When
this sequel to Kubrick's 2001:
A Space Odyssey was
released in 1984, the Soviet Union was still a global threat to
democracy everywhere (just ask Ronald Reagan...oh, wait). 2010
didn't envision things changing too much over the next 26 years, so
the main tension in the film stemmed from the U.S. and Soviets on the
brink of nuclear war. However, the Soviet Union was totally dissolved
by 1991.
STAR TREK: THE MOTION
PICTURE
This is a very
minor detail, but renders the movie dated nonetheless. The crew of the Enterprise is trying to save Earth from a
malevolent alien entity known as V'Ger. It turns out V'Ger is
actually Voyager 6, a space probe launched in the 90s by NASA a few hundred years earlier. The
Voyager Program was a real-life NASA endeavor, with two probes
launched in 1977, roughly around the time shooting for this film
began. For the sake of timeliness & realism, the writers of Star
Trek understandably
incorporated it into their story. Unfortunately for them, NASA killed
the Voyager program shorty afterwards, meaning there wasn't even a Voyager 3,
let alone a Voyager 6.
THE PASSION OF THE
CHRIST
I suppose whether or
not Mel Gibson's religious snuff film belongs on this list depends on
one's perspective. Upon its initial release, many groups labeled it
anti-sematic, while legions of others viewed as the ultimate
depiction of the final hours of Jesus' life. Another revisionist
argument is the movie was already
dated because of the time-honored depiction of Jesus as a white guy.
But what truly changes one's perspective of this movie comes from
writer-director Gibson's actions afterwards, such as defending his
dad's beliefs as a Holocaust denier and Mel's drunken, anti-sematic
run-ins with cops. I cannot speak for everyone, but for me (I truly
admired the film at first), it's now hard to watch such a
skillfully-created movie without wondering if it's simply one man
spilling his own hatred onto the screen.
THE NAKED GUN (and its
sequels)
All three films in
this franchise were made back when everyone loved O.J. Simpson.
It was arguably because of his image as a nice guy that he
was cast in the role of Nordberg (originally played by Peter Lupus in
the TV series), even though he wasn't exactly what one would
consider a gifted actor. Then he was involved in the trial of the
20th
Century when accused of stabbing his wife and her lover to
death. While he was eventually found not-guilty, it was obvious to
everyone with a pulse he got away with murder. O.J.'s pathetic later
attempts to cash-in on his new notoriety left a bad taste in
everyone's mouth, including those who once championed his innocence.
Watching The Naked Gun
today, while the movie's still hilarious, seeing Simpson as the
loveable buffoon we all thought he once
was is a bit
disturbing.
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