Starring Francia Raisa,
Mike “The Miz” Mizanin, Will Greenberg. Directed by Gil Junger.
(2013, 73 min).
If you see this disc
sitting in a Wal-Mart bin this holiday season, check out the cast
(pro-wrestler,“The Miz,” is the most famous face), examine the
credits (it’s produced by WWE Studios) and read the plot (the
‘bounty’ in the title applies to bounty hunters, not a holiday of
plenty). This obviously ain’t It’s a Wonderful Life. It’s not
even Jingle All the Way. A TV movie produced for ABC Family, it’s
only a notch above the syrupy holiday sugarfests Hallmark Channel
craps out in abundance each year. However, this one does have the
added bonus of fistfights, car chases and gunplay, tropes decidedly
absent from Miracle on 34th
Street.
Francia Raisa plays Tara,
a school teacher who’s trying to forget her past while keeping it
secret from her fiancée (Will Greenberg), said-past being part of
the family business…professional bounty hunting. When a hoodlum she
once put-away escapes and vows revenge, she runs back home to her
family and, with their help, tries to re-apprehend him. Things get
complicated when her fiancee follows her, and an old flame who’s
part of the family business (“The Miz”) shows up, who
still carries a torch for her.
 |
| "Listerine...seriously." |
Hilarity is supposed to
ensue, and sometimes it does. Tara’s gung-ho mom and dad (an
obvious parody of Dawg, the Bounty Hunter)
are amusing, and some of the mafia tropes are chuckle-worthy. But for
the most part, Christmas Bounty is
a predictable and forgettable made-for-TV flick, loaded with plot
holes and probably cranked-out in a couple of weeks. As the marquee
name in the cast, “The Miz” is enjoyable enough, but not required
to do much more than flash a charming smile and crack a limb or two;
it might even disappoint WWE fans that he’s not really the star of
this film.
However, Christmas
Bounty moves at a brisk pace and, at 73
minutes, doesn’t overextend its welcome. Lovers of holiday film
fare will roll their eyes at how dumb it is, both the concept and
execution, and it’s likely anyone interested in a film like this
already know it isn’t about to replace A
Christmas Story as an annual family
tradition.
EXTRAS
3 Featurettes:
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS:
WrestleMania Casting Call
HANDCUFFS & HANDBAGS:
The Style of Christmas Bounty
A CHRISMIZ STORY
FKMG RATING:
(OUT OF 5)
1 comment:
I'm surprised that none of the main baddies were actually wrestlers, because I've seen No Holds Barred, Suburban Commando, Mr. Nanny, and Thunder in Paradise, all of which featured a ton of wrestlers. So I was surprised that there was no out-of-work wrestlers that were working in this film.
Maybe nobody wanted to touch this pile of shit.
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