Don't Answer THE CALL

THE CALL (Blu-ray)

2020 / 97 min

From Cineverse

Available at www.MovieZyng.com

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

For certain fans, Lin Shaye and Tobin Bell probably need no introduction. Though both have been kicking around for decades and have long, varied resumes, these days they’re most synonymous with horror, sort-of making them the Liam Neesons of the genre.

But be advised…like a lot of video releases touting instantly recognizable names above the title, neither Shaye nor Bell are the actual stars of The Call. In fact, the former is barely in it at all. The latter’s a little more vital to the plot, but most of this drab film focuses on yet-another batch of dull teenagers.

With new-to-town Chris (Chester Rushing) in tow, these teenagers regularly torment Edith Cranston (Shaye), a suspected witch that Tonya (Erin Sanders) blames for her sister’s death. After Edith commits suicide, her husband, Edward (Bell), invites all four kids to the house and announces that Edith is leaving them $100,000. There’s just one catch: Each must take turns going into a room to answer a phone and stay on the line for at least a minute. 

"Of course my refrigerator is running. Why do you ask?"

Naturally, it’s Edith on the other end of the line, calling from the grave to torment the kids for what they’ve done. They’re forced to reckon with their pasts through surreal, hallucinatory sequences that look inspired by A Nightmare on Elm Street (albeit with far less imagination). Speaking of which, The Call takes place in the 80s, but unless it’s intended as an homage to movies like Elm Street, at no point is the setting relevant.

Though technically competent, The Call is not only derivative and predictable, its boring, arguably the worst sin a horror film can commit. Even the death scenes are fairly benign and bloodless. Shaye and Bell liven things up a bit (however briefly), but the other characters are neither interesting or likable. Don’t bother answering this call. 

RED ONE: The Very Definition of High Concept

RED ONE (Blu-ray)

2024 / 123 min

From Warner Bros #InPartnershipwithWB

Review by Stinky the Destroyer😼

The very definition of high concept, Red One has a big cast, big action and big special effects. Like the time I once attended a friend’s extravagant wedding and reception with hundreds of other guests, the main thing that kept crossing my mind while watching the film was, This must have been expensive.

I don’t typically concern myself with how much a movie costs, but sometimes its impact on the creative process is obvious. Red One is chock full of visual and narrative elements lifted from from other high concept action and holiday-themed movies, cynically assembled to appeal to as wide an audience as possible. Hence, the film plays things so safe that you’ll be able to forecast the outcome of nearly every scene.

That’s not to say Red One isn’t enjoyable. While unlikely to become a perennial holiday classic, it’s kind of fun at times, largely due to admittedly impressive production design and agreeable performances by its two stars, Dwayne Johnson and Chris Evans, neither of whom are required to stretch themselves much. And for some viewers, there might even be something reassuring about its undemanding narrative and utter predictability.

Krampus...feelin' horny.

The entire story is built around a premise that was probably conceived on a cocktail napkin. Santa (J.K. Simmons) has been kidnapped and its up to his head security chief, Callum Drift (Johnson), to find & rescue him. He and the Mythological Oversight and Restoration Authority (MORA) force freelance hacker/slacker Jack O’Malley (Evans), who sold the info of Santa’s location in the first place, to assist them. It turns out he was abducted by Gryla (Kiernan Shipka), a Christmas witch with plans to use his powers to punish everyone who’s ever been on the Naughty List (which essentially means the entire population).

Red One liberally incorporates familiar tropes found in both modern action flicks and family-oriented holiday movies, while occasionally dipping into traditional lore (good ol’ Krampus is an amusing highlight). The action sequences are heavily CGI-driven, as is much of the production design and plethora of non-human secondary characters, but often imaginatively rendered. Storywise, the overall emphasis is largely on comedy and, of course, the same kind of epiphanies characters experience in every Christmas movie since people started making them.

As such, I’ve certainly seen plenty of worse Christmas movies, which might be faint praise for one with a $200 million price tag. Completely bereft of narrative surprises, you'll see every plot turn coming from a mile away. But it's slickly made and kind of enjoyable in the moment, which is probably all some people want for their holiday entertainment.

A COMPLETE UNKNOWN...Remains Unknown

A COMPLETE UNKNOWN (Digital)

2024 / 141 min

From Searchlight Pictures

Review by Princess Pepper😼

It’s hard to resist a good music bio. Oddly enough, some of my favorites have been about artists from genres that aren’t really my cup of tea. I’d rather shave with a cheese grater than listen to country music, but loved Coal Miner’s Daughter. Ditto Straight Outta Compton, which didn’t turn me into an NWA fan, but their story certainly gave me a newfound respect for what they accomplished.

Since I generally find folk music, Bob Dylan’s songs and his nasally twang about as enjoyable as a tax audit, I figured A Complete Unknown would be a slam-dunk. I may not be a fan, but hey, the guy’s a living legend. That’s got to be a fascinating story.

And at the very least, Timothee Chalamet uncannily speaks, sings, moves and looks like the classic ‘60s era Bob Dylan we’re all familiar with. He obviously did his homework, and for his efforts, earned an Oscar nomination. That, along with the music and admirable attention to period detail, makes A Complete Unknown worth checking out, especially for fans. However, looks aren’t everything. There’s an early scene where Dylan’s live-in girlfriend, Sylvie (Elle Fanning), complains that she has been open to him about her entire life, while he shares almost nothing of his own. One could easily say the same thing about the entire movie. 

Someone could use a breath mint.

The narrative chronicles Dylan’s career from his arrival at Greenwich village to his notorious appearance at the Newport Folk Festival in 1965, where he infamously “went electric,” to the consternation of fans and festival organizers. But it’s mostly an checklist of career highlights, where everyone is in such awe of Dylan’s songs and talent that he goes from zero to folk music’s poster boy faster than Superman throws on his tights. For all I know, maybe that’s just how things transpired, but in the meantime, little is revealed about Dylan himself…his upbringing, his struggles & obstacles, his life experiences. He’s depicted as rebellious, but we never know what really makes him tick.

The brief, tumultuous relationship between Dylan and Joan Baez (Monica Barbaro) creates a few sparks and would have made an interesting film by itself. But it’s ultimately just another chapter of an overly episodic narrative. Elsewhere, Edward Norton is charming as Dylan’s early mentor, Pete Seeger, while Boyd Holbrook surprisingly steals a few scenes as Johnny Cash. Conversely, Fanning’s role ends up being pretty thankless, her character reduced to watching Dylan from backstage on the verge of tears.

My daughter, who was watching this with me and knows nothing about Bob Dylan, remarked that the movie relentlessly moves along on the assumption that the audience is already familiar with the smaller details of its subject’s life and background. That’s a pretty accurate assessment. The film is chock full of music and Chalamet’s physical transformation into Dylan is remarkable. But in the end, A Complete Unknown’s main character largely remains unknown.

EXTRA KIBBLES

FEATURETTES - The Story; Timothee Chalamet as Bob Dylan; The Supporting Cast; The Design.

AUDIO COMMENTARY - By director James Mangold.

For Your Consideration...DEAD ANT

DEAD ANT (Blu-ray)

2017 / 90 min

From Cineverse

Available at www.MovieZyng.com

Review by Stinky the Destroyer😼

In the spirit of Oscar season, we take a look back at the 2017 horror-comedy, Dead Ant. 

You might recall this one, which was nominated in several categories, including Best Picture Featuring Heavy Metal & Giant Insects, Best Gratuitous Female Nudity and Best Song (the heartfelt ballad, “Side Boob”). It didn’t win any of ‘em, but I believe Tom Arnold did take home the honorary lifetime achievement award that year.

To refresh your memory, Dead Ant is about a has-been hair metal band, Sonic Grave, who are heading to a music festival - Nochella - with hopes of reviving their career. Along the way, they buy some mysterious peyote from a local Native-American named Bigfoot, hoping to stimulate their creativity enough to come up with a new hit song (the aforementioned “Side Boob,” which is funny enough to be a Spinal Tap song).

But Bigfoot warns them that harming a single creature after taking the drug will have disastrous results. Naturally, that very thing happens when their bass player (always the bass player!) kills an ant. It isn’t long before the entire colony - now much bigger - comes for payback, trapping the band, their manager and a couple of groupies in their trailer. What’s worse, the ants grow larger whenever one is killed. These characters figure that out, but pay no heed, so by the time they attempt to escape, legions of car-sized ants follow them to the festival.

Driver's Ed in Texas.

Like The Shape of Water, which did win Best Picture that year, the best praise one can bestow on Dead Ant is it’s exactly the movie you think it’s gonna be, with plenty of low-brow humor, occasionally clever dialogue, cartoonish violence and (intentionally?) silly special effects. I typically find Tom Arnold and Jake Busey pretty obnoxious, but they’re surprisingly amusing here, though Rhys Coiro often steals the movie as an overly-serious guitarist with a misguided sense of his own creativity. Elsewhere, fans of Sylvia Sweeney and her physical attributes might enjoy this early role, where she parades around in a bikini and screams a lot.

The cast certainly looks like they’re having a great time, which is kind of infectious, though I chuckled more than actually laughed. Dead Ant isn’t what anyone would call a good film (not with a straight face, anyway), but it is a fun film. Daniel Day-Lewis said as much after losing the Best Actor Oscar to Gary Oldman that year, obviously regretful over passing on this movie to appear in Phantom Thread. But keep your chin up, Dan…maybe there’s a spot for you in the sequel.

LADY OF VENGEANCE and the Rambling Red Herring

LADY OF VENGEANCE (Blu-ray)

1956 / 73 min

From MGM

Available at www.MovieZyng.com

Review by Mr. Paws😼

Man, talk about your red herrings! 

I hate red herrings. Hence, 1956's Lady of Vengeance is two-thirds of a decent film noir. I used to teach middle school, and if I were to grade this like an assignment, two-thirds of the possible points is a little over 66%...a D. But if a kid’s work wasn’t quite up to snuff but the effort was there, I sometimes bumped it up to a passing grade (especially if said-kid bestowed me a Starbuck’s gift card at Christmas).

And for a quick & dirty potboiler, this British film reflects some real effort on both sides of the camera. It starts off with a bang, when Melissa Collins (Eileen Elton) commits suicide by throwing herself in front of a train. Before that, she sent a letter to her estranged guardian, newspaper magnate William Marshall (Dennis O’Keefe), asking him to exact revenge on the man who ruined her life, presumably irresponsible, womanizing musician Larry Shaw).

"No need to pack your bags, good sir...I only have One Ticket to Paradise."

Headstrong and accustomed to getting what he wants, Marshall hires/blackmails master criminal Emile Karnak (Anton Diffring) to develop a flawless plan to make Shaw suffer at-length, after which Marshall will shoot the man himself. The scenes with these two men are intriguing, with cool calculating Karnek providing a neat contrast to Marshall’s vindictiveness. Neither character is particularly likable, but since when has that ever mattered in film noir?

Unfortunately, the story dedicates way too much screen time to Shaw, who does little but blow his trombone, belittle women and complain about his life. If it weren’t for a single brief scene he shares with Karnak, he’s not really even part of the ongoing narrative. And when the film reaches its climax, we realize why. Out of the blue, with absolutely no foreshadowing, the story throws in a plot twist that feels more like a suckerpunch.

I don’t want to give anything away because, up to that point, Lady of Vengeance is kind of fun, especially its well-conceived partners-in-crime. But not only does it end with a whimper, we suddenly realize the film didn’t play fair by wasting time on a rambling red herring. Still, two-thirds of a decent movie at least reflects some effort, so I guess I can give it a pass.

GLADIATOR II (4K) and Some Premature Assumptions

GLADIATOR II (4K UHD SteelBook)

2024 / 147 min

From Paramount

Review by Mr. Bonnie, the Battle Cat😺

Well aware I’m in the minority on this, I thought the original Gladiator was a decent movie, but not necessarily a great one. It was slickly made and enjoyable, with solid performances by Russell Crowe and Joaquin Phoenix, but sure as hell wasn’t Oscar worthy (well…maybe Phoenix was).

We’d been hearing rumblings of a sequel for years, but it was one of those things I assumed would would remain in development hell forever. After all, a quarter century had passed and the original didn’t really leave things open for another chapter (or God help us, a prequel).

But here we are...director Ridley Scott returning for Gladiator II, which I also assumed was because his other recent efforts haven't exactly set the world on fire. Since Gladiator remains one of his biggest, most beloved films, surely there’s another story to be told, no matter how contrived.

I gotta say I really enjoyed Gladiator II...more than I expected because I initially assumed Scott and company wouldn't rock the boat by tweaking the formula too much. And storywise, it’s very similar, this time our hero being Maximus’ son, Lucius (Paul Mescal). But as the film begins, he’s known as Hanno, returning to Rome as a conquered slave purchased by Macrinus (Denzel Washington) for gladiatorial combat. Eventually, of course, his past and considerable fighting skills become a legitimate threat to Rome's leaders.

"Sir...I think you dropped this."

However, it isn’t simply more of the same. Gladiator II is more plot heavy than before, with plenty of treachery, political maneuvering and several antagonists. But even though we’re occasionally required to suspend a little disbelief (sharks in the Colosseum???), it’s an interesting story, mainly because Scott’s approach is more flamboyant, often throwing caution to the wind with both the characters and the action. Sibling emperors Geta and Caracalla come across as a couple of mini-Caligulas, but it’s ultimately Macrinus who fascinates us and Washington looks like he had a hell of a good time playing a bad guy once again (a really bad guy). 

Pedro Pascal also shines in a more grounded performance as Acacias, the emperors’ conflicted general and husband of Lucilla (Connie Nielsen, returning as Lucius’ mother). Conversely, Mescal does what he can with Lucius, who is never as compelling as Maximus was and is more of a plot device than a dynamic character. It’s soon obvious the film is far more infatuated with its villains than its heroes. And that’s okay, because Gladiator II serves up some doozies. 

There’s plenty of action, fighting and bloodshed, presented with an over-the-top zeal that occasionally borders on ridiculous (but still pretty rousing). And aside from some obvious CGI, the film is always aesthetically striking…though I do miss Hans Zimmer’s haunting score, which provided much of the original’s emotional heft. A bit crazier and campier, Gladiator II is nevertheless a fun belated sequel that's better than I once assumed it would be.

EXTRA KIBBLES

4K, BLU-RAY & DIGITAL COPIES

FEATURETTES - A Dream That was Rome: Origins features director Ridley Scott and others discussing how they came up with a sequel; What We Do in Life Echoes in Eternity: The Cast includes on-set footage and Scott discussing the cast choices; In the Arena: Filmmakers focuses on the crew; For Those About to Die, We Salute You: Combat covers fight choreography and stunts; Building an Empire: Post-Production covers the sound, special effects and Harry Gregson-Williams’ score; The Making of Gladiator II.

DELETED SCENES

2073 Suggests the Future is Now

2073 (Blu-ray)

2024 / 85 min

From Neon/Decal Releasing

Available at www.MovieZyng.com

Review by Stinky the Destroyer😿

It’s possible this movie will have you pondering (however briefly) the ramifications of shopping on Amazon, the people & groups you engage with on social media, the increasing presence of tech & AI in daily life, and most ominously, the people we allow to become powerful.

Those things combined might just doom humankind.

That’s the gist of 2073, which is part speculative science-fiction, part documentary. It imagines a world decimated by climate change, and where anything resembling free speech is illegal. As seen through its main character, Ghost (Samantha Morton), most people clinging to personal freedom live in underground squalor, surviving off the scraps of wealthy corporate and political leaders who live in pristine skyscrapers.

But there’s no real plot to the film. Ghost narrates - perhaps too much - what it’s like living in this world, while reflecting on the guidance of her grandmother, who used to document the world’s slide into totalitarianism before being taken away (presumably killed). Ghost is also aware that they will someday come for her.

It's a fixer-upper, but the price was right.

However, the bulk of the film consists of actual incidents and contemporary footage related the growing fascist regimes around the world (with plenty of shots of Donald Trump & Vladimir Putin sucking up to dictators), exacerbated by their weaponization of surveillance technology, social media and AI. Additionally, the increasing influence of corporate billionaires like Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg on every aspect of daily life is chillingly depicted, as is the current demonization of news media and the concept of free press.

How well 2073 conveys its subjective and none-too-subtle warning will largely depend on how the viewer already perceives the world. The film raises alarming issues about what’s going on under our noses, some we’re aware of, others many choose to ignore. But I can also imagine certain people watching this and rolling their eyes at the doomsaying tone of the entire film (you know who you are). What’s more, it isn’t always entirely successful bridging the gap between the flashback footage and hellish future it depicts.

Speaking of which, the sci-fi elements of the film are well conceived and Ghost makes an interesting protagonist, even though she does little but dumpster dive and read books. The few other characters she does engage with appear only briefly and we know little about them. It also must be said that these segments serve as more of a wraparound to the flashback footage, meaning 2073 ultimately ends up being more of an editorial than a movie experience.

Deadbeat DADDY

DADDY (Blu-ray)

2024 / 98 min

From Anchor Bay Entertainment

Review by Stinky the Destroyer😾

Rather than restoring genre classics, the revived Anchor Bay label appears more focused on newer low-budget films with cult potential. So far, what they’ve released has run the gamut from creatively psychotic (Abrupto) to middling (Cursed in Baja).

Daddy, however, is the first of Anchor Bay’s new roster that, to be perfectly blunt, really sucks. Interminable and irritating to the point of being almost unwatchable, the film wastes its intriguing premise on obnoxious characters, pointless ambiguity and plot threads which hint at something ominous or meaningful, but end up going nowhere.

The story takes place in a dystopian future where being a parent is a privilege that must be earned from the government by successfully completing a program. For men, each is required to stay at a remote house and property with three other candidates, presumably for a series of tests to determine whether they’re suitable fathers. After a brief set-up, the entire film takes place at this compound.

"I thought everybody knew 'Smoke on the Water'."

The main characters (including Neal Kelley & Jono Sherman, who wrote & directed the film) arrive to await further instructions. However, nobody else ever shows up to offer any kind of guidance. The remainder of the narrative has these characters assuming their isolation is the actual test and that they’re being watched by hidden cameras. Among the items in this fully-stocked home is an infant doll, which they sort-of adopt, figuring how they treat it is another test. 

These guys grow increasingly distrustful and paranoid of everything, including each other, as well as a woman who arrives at the compound claiming her car has broken down. Again, this is an interesting concept, but ruined by terribly conceived characters who take turns being the most unlikable person in the room. And for a supposed black comedy, none of this is particularly funny, nor are their meandering (often grating) conversations all that engaging. If there’s a message or commentary in here somewhere, I sure as hell never found it. Episodic to the extreme, the entire film plays like a series of isolated conflicts strung together by a couple of writers in love with their own dialogue.

And don’t expect any clarity as a payoff for enduring 90 minutes with guys you’d most-likely avoid at a social gathering. Daddy concludes (rather abruptly) without making a discernible point or answering any questions it raises. I don’t necessarily need to be spoonfed information to enjoy a film, but geez guys, throw us a freaking bone on occasion.

EXTRA KIBBLES

C.U.P.S. WEB SERIES - Two episodes from the series, which is by the same guys who wrote & directed Daddy.

EXTENDED/ALTERNATIVE DANCE SCENE

IMPROVISATION REEL - Apparently, much of the dialogue was improvised beforehand, some of which made it into the finished film. This features shows comparisons.

AUDIO COMMENTARY - By writer-directors Neal Kelley & Jono Sherman.